I kind of learned something else tonight, and the universe delivered this one right to my ears without me even having to look for it. I was sitting at home reading an ebook on Python programming, feeling sorry for myself because I didn’t have anywhere to go or anyone to go see… but then I got this idea to go skate on up to the 7-Eleven about 1.5 miles up the road to get some ice-cream and an energy-drink, all of which made me feel a lot better. I come home, turn on Pandora, and this is the first song that pops-up on my “Skatepunk Hell” channel.
The lyrics and my experience kind of pointed-out a problem that I had been avoiding for a while, which can be summarized quite simply: I haven’t been able to have fun on my own. I’ve been too dependent on other people to have fun, and sometimes just frackin’ around on a skateboard in the middle of the night because you’re bored is more fun and more useful to your personal morale than beating yourself down with tasks and goals you’re not 100% invested-in.
Sometimes you just have to divorce yourself from the tasks you’re trying to grind-out for a while and get yourself out of the work-centric headspace entirely. Skating, bouldering, blog writing, meditating, ridiculously loud ska; whatever it takes. I’ve been forgetting to take a little “me” time out of the insanely-busy weeks that I’ve been pushing myself through.
Always evolving, always changing, always learning.