Being so totally disconnected from a vast majority of things in my life as of late. Feeling disconnected from all of the people in my life, feeling disconnected from all of the places that I know, and feeling torn-up inside that I don’t really have a plan to fix it or a way to plan my way out of it. I feel so separate from the “communities” that exist around me. I’m not a whimsical hippie-dippy flower-child, nor am I super-professional, nor am I a glitter-emitting gay… which puts me out in this weird nowhere-land between the major groups I would be a part-of or privy-to based on my interests. It’s strange for me because a lot of these groups and many of the individuals involved in them don’t resonate with me very well in the least.
The super-floaty hippie types are too flighty and whimsical for me, and a lot of them never seem to have any real opinion or advice on anything of any real import. They’re not “grounded in reality”, to use a phrase that has become awfully pertinent lately. The glitter-emitting sections of the gay community have about the same standing in my head, they’re not really worth my time or effort in most instances. And the people that have closed themselves off from the rest of the communities they inhabit, including professional communities and relationships (i.e., work, associations, clubs, etc.), have become a major nuisance to me. Like trying to joke with my boss sometimes is not worth the pain, and having a conversation that means anything at all is nigh-impossible. It’s become apparent to me that a lot of people in this country have fallen victim to this kind of thing, and it saddens me. Having deep and meaningful conversations and experiences together with other people has become so utterly difficult that I sometimes wonder why I even get out of bed some days.
What I want in a community or small group of friends I could live with is fairly simple:
- A group of people that likes to hang out together, go do physical things together, watch movies, talk about really deep and meaningful things
- A group of people that isn’t afraid to support each other while living together and doing all the things that come with that (cooking, cleaning, socializing, working, etc.)
- A group of people that isn’t prone to the ungrounded-hippie-syndrome that seems to be infecting a lot of groups as of late
I guess what I want in a community is a group of gay or gay-friendly individuals living and working together in a commune-like setting in/near a major city somewhere. Preferably near San Francisco, to be honest.