It’s been a slam-bang few weeks.
Work has been getting increasingly interesting in the last couple of weeks, with the emphasis added to underline the British definition of the word. Organizational changes as well as departures/evacuations of various seats in the department overall have brought things into question that I was hoping not to have brought into question so quickly: chiefly, whether or not working where I am now is truly the place I want to be working in the long-term, considering the drastic departure from the structure and values that have occurred since I began working there. I am told that my concerns are unfounded, but my feelings are mine and though people may say one thing publicly, I would imagine they’re thinking the opposite in-private. I have begun asking around if there are other openings in smaller, friendlier, and more agile companies and start-ups in the Southern California area, but I have yet to hear anything positive. I’ll probably be expanding my search out to the San Francisco and San Jose/Sacramento areas, but I’m not expecting anything spectacular. If I can stay at my current pay-rate and move-in with someone and pay about the same rent and still have access to public transit, I’ll be perfectly fine.
Personal life has been a oscillating mish-mash of painful learning experiences, soul-crushing lows, and contemplative-yet-contented peaks in terms of emotions. I’ve felt disconnected, then I’ve felt like I had/have community with something. I’ve felt like total crap, then I’ve consciously felt the best I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I’m finding that it’s not necessarily the lows that are making things difficult (though they make me a total bitch to be around when they occur), it’s the oscillation between the two extremes that is causing me the most distress. I’ve done research on ADD, ADHD, and Bi-Polar (Manic-Depressive) Disorders, and I know enough to know the warning signs and the various methods to counteract or avoid them, but sometimes even my emotions outrun me; as has been the case at work as of late.
There’s more than one reason why I dislike getting up in the morning to go to work these days, and it’s nothing to do with the train-ride and subsequent 5-6 miles of bicycle ride to get there.
Outside of the emotional trappings, I am starting to achieve some level of comprehension and mastery over the concepts of the Steven Covey/David Allen “7-Habits/Getting Things Done” methods of task- and project-management as applied to my personal and professional life. Exploring a modified version of these concepts utilizing the XMind tool has been an exercise in complexity as well as creative brain-storming, and has allowed me to more effectively determine my tasks for a given time-frame. I am finding that I am feeling much more ambitious and more able to undertake new ventures by being able to set a B.H.A.G. (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) and break it up into a set of milestones or achievements that I can measure and track in a meaningful way. I think this might be the key to pushing myself to do more, learn more, and explore more.
Going to start rock climbing every day (or as many days as my muscles will let me) and bicycling as often as possible, since Burning Man is only approximately 140 days away. As of this writing, I think I have about 4 months left to prepare myself as well as my supplies for the coming trip and to participate in it. Or, as they say on the Playa, “Welcome Home”.
That’s enough for now. Have a lot to do tomorrow. Will probably write another update tomorrow with some more of the other stuff that occurred that I don’t really feel like typing about right-this-second. Catch you all again later.