Journal Entry, 6/12/2011

It’s been a long couple of weeks, and I didn’t realize how much exhaustion I was putting myself under the entire time.  Goes to show that the less aware you are of both outer and inner parts of your being, the more potential you have for missing the important signs.

Work has been impressively interesting and draining at the same time.  Manager got canned a couple weeks ago, another one was brought in the next day… didn’t feel right about that in the least.  But then again, what can I do?  I’m the low man on the totem-pole.  New manager seems rather competent, will have to wait and see how things will change within the department.  Also managed to get another overnight guy hired so at least we’ll have 24×7 coverage from now on.  Supposedly starts in a week or two; just hope he’s as good as his friend says he is.

Personal life has been a mash-up of highs-and-lows lately.  Been kind of reconnecting with friends of mine over the internet, getting those things back in-order.  Managed to talk to someone I dearly wish I could have more time with in my life that distance does not currently permit me to… every time I talk to him, makes me smile.  Makes me wonder if he’s using some kind of aural magick or if that’s just the way he is… I’m betting on the latter-most.  Need to call my other half at some point and just talk with him on the phone, haven’t done that in a while.  Feeling kind of guilty for not doing so, but it’s been difficult with all the stuff going on in my head to think about things to say or ask.

Been thinking too much again.  Too much about the past, too much about the future, not enough about the present and how to overcome problems.  There are far too many things I feel like I need to tackle and not enough time in the day to get to all of them.  I want to read more and prepare myself for the CCNA test later this year, I want to socialize more and get more exposure with the gay community in the area, I want to earn more money, I want to visit far-away places, I want to get out of debt… too many things, too little time to do them in.  I’ve tried to prioritize along getting my finances together and learning more about networking so that I can take the CCNA either before or after BM this year, and it seems to be working well… I just need to stop being such a compulsive spender.  Need to stop eating out so damn much and stay in and cook for myself and take care of the things that really need to be taken care of.

Maybe that’d help my self-esteem issues: getting out of debt, getting another certification under my belt, and moving up in my career.  Something to think about as I go to sleep tonight.

Climbing again tomorrow.  Gave myself the last two days off because I needed to get more sleep and take care of laundry and focus on reading.  Got another chapter of the CCNA book down today, think I’ll try and tackle some more tomorrow and get in some meditation.  So, to-do list tomorrow: climb, read, meditate… maybe read some more.  Patricia Briggs’ writing is amazingly good.  If you have the ability to, read everything she’s got out on ebooks or go grab a few copies from your nearest bookstore.  I guarantee if you’re any kind of fan of werewolves, vampires, fae, or any other related fantasy genre, you’ll like it a lot.  (On a side-note, the latest Anita Blake book “Hit List” was rather anti-climactic… not what I expected.  Boo.)

See you around, folks.

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