I suppose it’s not something that gets talked about very often among pagan-minded individuals, but I think it’s something that’s worth exploring to some degree or another. If I come off sounding supremely vague, it’s because this type of subject isn’t something that I have broached to the general public in the past… but sometimes it’s helpful to put it out there and make it known so that it can be considered, postulated upon, and perhaps even integrated.
Have you ever had that presence in the back of your consciousness? The one that’s not quite your conscience (the archetypal “good guy/angel”) or your dark side (the archetypal “bad guy/devil/demon”)? For me, it’s something primal, something that’s difficult to comprehend on any level but the most base level of reasoning. It’s not a “gut” or “instinct” in so far as the primal/Darwinian fight-or-flight model is concerned, it’s in my head. To me, the “gut” feeling is like the gravity suddenly changing and finding your stomach in your throat when you fall. That sort of feeling is something I feel whenever someone genuinely surprises or gets the drop on me. The presence I’m talking about here conveys feelings in raw emotions, sometimes simple words and concepts, but almost never in full sentences. It likens itself to a wary predator, in a sense, always roving and on the lookout for threats either to itself or my person.
It knows who it likes and doesn’t like, what should be good for me and what shouldn’t, and has an uncanny knack for detecting variances in interactions with others in the default world. It’s keenly (and often times painfully) aware that We are alone, and that there are few in this world (if any at all) who would understand and accept Us as a whole. To be blunt, and to potentially be as confusing as possible, We seek someone (or a small group of someones) that is able to understand Us. We want someone to call Ours; to be able to wrap tangible arms around someone and say “Mine”. Some days, We want nothing more than to wrap our arms around someone and bury ourselves in their embrace, and to fall asleep knowing that We are wanted.
Some days my “Other” is quiet, some days it’s not. Lately, it’s been in the latter category.
What have your experiences been? Post your experiences in the comments section.