It is a curious thing viewing one’s life through the lens of retrospect. I begin to see decisions that I’ve made and the patterns that make up the habits and myths that once served me well. The twin realizations of mistakes made and the implication of failures left unresolved is enough to overwhelm most anyone. […]

That jacket you just bought. Those shoes you just got. The photos you’re taking. The posts you’re writing. The words you’re using. The furniture you’re having delivered. If your answers don’t begin and end with “me”, “myself”, or “I”, then it begs the question: who is it really for?  Are you spending money to buy things […]

Someone came before you. A hundred-thousand-fold came before we were even close to being present. Some would argue that many of us aren’t even “present” now: staring at our phones, our televisions, our computers–anything but each other. Which is a shame because the immense miracle that is our history on this planet is a tale […]

A tree doesn’t ask for permission to grow.  It just does it. The same can (and ideally should) be said of doing what needs to be done.  Doing the most good and minimizing harm; that’s the hallmark of work that needs no permission. Doing what we need to do for ourselves requires no permission, no […]

Lead with it.  It might seem inscrutible, impossible to comprehend the reasons why depending upon what subject is being queried.  But the impossibility of starting with it begs the question itself: why not start with “why”? Take, for example, an engineer.  Brilliant, but utterly fearful and ineffective at communicating.  Why? Perhaps that very same brilliant engineer […]

No one will ever be able to advocate for you.  Not me, not your boss, not your partner, not your squeeze, not your parents–literally no one.  Because no one will know what you want or how much you want it. No one except you. When you really want or need something, you have engage your own […]

From the outside, it seems as though American society plays a lot of lip-service to the idea of what I would call “common work”; trades and labor specifically.  People pay a lot of attention to the rates of college graduates, advanced degrees, and technical or scientific expertise–but the same kind of attention and respect is […]

I don’t know how other people describe something like queerness. I guess that’s the point of the word really—different. Is my bisexuality a problem or is it just one facet of who I am that gives context and texture to the person that I have become and will eventually morph into? My life, being not-quite-straight […]

I’d put money on the bet that the definition of amazing varies as much as any variable in the physical universe.  What constitutes an amazing life, an amazing career, an amazing passion or hobby, or even an amazing family or relationship just might depend more on your relationship to the word and your perspective than it […]

Intending to build on my previous post around this time last year, I’ve been in a reflective mood.  I’m less fearful in a lot of ways, and more uncertain in others.  This year has given me a lot to think about and a lot to move forward with.  Relationships have deepened in many ways, others have […]