There’s a realization that I’ve had to spend time getting eye-to-eye with.  An inescapable fact.  It’s ugly and painful, but I think it’s about as close to a truism as I think I can really get. 95% of the time, people won’t show up for you. 4.9% of the time they might because either you’ve coerced […]

Intending to build on my previous post around this time last year, I’ve been in a reflective mood.  I’m less fearful in a lot of ways, and more uncertain in others.  This year has given me a lot to think about and a lot to move forward with.  Relationships have deepened in many ways, others have […]

Maybe our definition of “happiness” is wrong. Maybe our civilization confuses material success with outward expressions of life satisfaction. Maybe there’s a depth to the definition of “happy” that we have not yet plumbed. Maybe that’s why so many of us feel confused and unhappy when we’re forced to question it. If the definition of […]

This week I turned twenty-eight.  It still hasn’t fully sank-in that I’m a mere two years from thirty; a stone’s throw in the grand scheme.  I started thinking back to some of the things that I’ve seen and done and how things could have been markedly different–but the more I thought about it, the more […]

I’ve found it more difficult than usual lately to quantify just what exactly a mature masculinity within the context of gay culture is supposed to look like.  After reading “A Place At The Table: The Gay Individual in American Society” by Bruce Bawer, I began to identify with some of the irksome idiosyncrasies that had […]

In this, Seth Godin is correct once again.  Some people I know personally (including myself) have fallen into this trap more than once, and end-up getting caught-up in this unrealistic expectation of the way it’s going to be. Once the hard part starts, the disillusionment sets-in and either folks give-up or they find reasons not […]